A Vegan Pumpkin Chili That’s NSFW

Have you heard of Thug Kitchen? This vegan food blog became viral for mixing salivating shots of hearty fare stamped with captions containing lots and lots of cuss words. The photo for a grapefruit hot toddy reads, “Tis the season motherf*cker.” Gingerbread bites beg you to “bake a batch of these sons of b*tches.” And a Thanksgiving quinoa grain salad simply tells it like it is: “Shame the sh*t out of other side dishes.” With the flood of dainty food blogs out there, Thug Kitchen is refreshing. It evokes simultaneous hunger and thunderous laughter. The sassy, no-BS attitude, the x-rated food porn, and the tried-and-tested recipes keep people, including us, coming back for more.

This recipe from the self-titled cookbook is one of the best GD vegan chilis out there. Admittedly, I felt skeptical using canned pumpkin puree in a soup, but the TK team did not lead me astray. The soup turned out thick and hearty, as if I dissolved tortilla chips into the pot. If you are sensitive to spice, leave out the jalapeño and garnish the top of the bowl instead. This is definitely going to be a Fall staple in my hood, and now, it can be yours too.

Pumpkin Chili

Notes

This isn’t a weak-ass canned chili that needs f*cking validation from some football players telling you how good it is. Hell no, this is hearty spoon-stands-up-on-its-own kind of sh*t.

Ingredients

  1. 1 yellow onion
  2. 1 carrot
  3. 1 bell pepper
  4. 1 teaspoon olive oil
  5. 2 to 3 cloves garlic, minced
  6. 1 jalapeño, minced
  7. 2 teaspoons soy sauce or tamari
  8. 2 1/2 tablespoons mild chili powder
  9. 1 teaspoon ground cumin
  10. 1 can (14.5 ounces) low-salt diced tomatoes*
  11. 1 1/2 cups pureed pumpkin**
  12. 2 cups vegetable broth or water
  13. 3 cups cooked beans***
  14. 1 tablespoon lime juice
  15. Toppings: cilantro, chopped onion, jalapeños, avocado, tortilla strips
  1. *Fire-roasted tomatoes are damn delicious if you can find them.
  2. **You can buy canned pumpkin puree, or cut up a fresh pumpkin into chunks, steam it until it is tender, and puree the f*ck out of it until you have 1 1/2 cups. If you try to make this chili with pumpkin pie filling, don’t complain about how f*cked up it tastes. You did that dumb sh*t yourself.
  3. ***Whatever beans you prefer in a chili are cool, but if you need direction, half black bean and half pinto make a solid combo. And yeah, you can use two 15-ounce cans.

Directions

  1. Chop up the onion, carrot, and bell pepper into pieces no bigger than a bean.
  2. In a big soup pot, heat the oil over medium heat. Add the onion, carrot, and bell pepper and sauté them until they begin to brown, about 5 minutes. Add the garlic, jalapeño, soy sauce, and spices and cook that all together for another 30 seconds. Add the tomatoes, pumpkin, broth, and beans and stir that up so everything is mixed. Get those flavors mingling and sh*t. Turn down the heat, cover, and let that simmer together for about 15 minutes. Stir it around every now and then.
  3. When it is done simmering, turn off the heat and stir in the lime juice. Serve right away with your favorite toppings.

Information

Category
Soups/Stews, Bean
Yield
Makes enough for 4 to 6 people depending on how much they like chili